Mosaic Life

Face to the book

In my Communications class last fall, we discussed the scary and wonderful world of Facebook. My professor (who, funny enough, is now one of my Facebook friends) expressed her wonder at it, since we all have a collection of selves that we present to different people. For instance, the crass yet hilarious joke I might tell to one friend might be something I’d never utter in front of, oh, say, my Communications teacher. Or the way that I boldly proclaim my political beliefs in front of my friends who I know share them, yet politely abstain from argument or disturbing the peace with those who don’t. To many of my coworkers, I’m quiet but friendly, and I probably seem fairly reserved. So I agree, I do change a bit from group to group.

My professor, at the time, found Facebook troubling. How can we reconcile the selves that we create for different reasons? I didn’t find this idea troubling at all at first. I thought it could actually be very good. It could force us to show others who we really are, and they can accept us or not. But then again, it could also force us to play down who we really are, for fear that others will be put off by what they see.

I suppose it’s also similar with blogging. When I start thinking too much about just who might be reading, I find that I tone things down, hold back with some of the honesty, and in a sense defeat the purpose of an online journal, depending on exactly what my purpose is on a given day.

Southern Belle, Valley Girl

Most of my life, I’ve strived to keep my accent very neutral. However, I’ve realized that my accent changes with extreme moods.

When I’m upset or sad, I start sounding very southern. I noticed this last April when I had a car accident and had to talk to the police officer. Something about being very scared not only brought back my “yes sirs” but made me sound like a southern belle in distress. And even as I spoke I knew I was doing it, but I thought maybe it’s good to appear this way to earn the sympathy of this very southern policeman who wanted to give me a ticket for not keeping control of my car in heavy, heavy rain while tractor trailers raced by me in my tiny economy car. At any rate, he didn’t give me a ticket. So… That was good.

Two days ago I had just gotten out of my car at the supermarket and was talking on my cell phone to my friend Shanna when I heard someone honk twice at me. I turned around, and this guy pulled up and said “hey, I fix the dent on your car for $500.” Let me give a little backstory. That dent is a sore subject. Someone ran into our parked car at a very traumatic time in our life and didn’t leave a note. And for some strange reason, we have a ton of other things we’d rather do with $500 than fix that dent. Plus, we’d been approached multiple times by the same company (or scam artists, as I suspect) offering to fix the dent every time we went to that parking lot. And they’re persistent. One time they followed us, honking their horn and flashing their headlights. So when that guy approached me two days ago, I immediately switched to a Valley Girl accent. I don’t know why; it just happened. And what followed had my friend Shanna laughing for a good five minutes. “NO I’M NOT INTERESTED. I DON’T WANT TO FIX THAT DENT, YOU GUYS HAVE ASKED ME THAT A BILLION TIMES BEFORE, GO AWAY.” “Oh no, that wasn’t me, I haven’t asked you that before.” “GO AWAY. LEAVE ME ALONE, I’M SERIOUS, GO AWAY.” “I’m just trying to help–” “I SAID GO! GET AWAY FROM ME. GO! LEAVE.” This included emphatic gestures and my very serious angry face. I’m really not a confrontational person, but next time I may give him a dent to fix for $500. And report his license plate number.

So yeah. If I have a heavy accent either way, you can pretty much bet I’m having a bad day. Just thought I’d let you know.

A grand marquis, a shack, and the kid who picks his nose

I remember when I was in elementary school, the girls had this game they would play to see what their lives would be like someday. This included folded up paper and a sort of eeny meeny miney moe approach, and would tell you what kind of car you would drive, who you would marry, and what sort of house you would live in. Of course, this proved to be untrue, since (as of yet) I do not drive a BMW or own a 2-story house, and I did not marry the class nerd. I married a nerd from across the country, thank you. Even when I cheated and got the best options possible, my life did not turn out to be anything like I might have imagined. But I’m so glad it didn’t.

So if I could go back to my elementary school self and tell her about the future, I’d say that it won’t be anything like you thought it would, but it will be so much better. And stop doing your bangs like that.

20% of my life thus far

Today is our 5th anniversary. I think we’re supposed to get each other silverware or something, but instead we’re taking a short trip to Charleston. Way cooler than a fork.

When we got married and people starting asking us when we were planning to have children, our standard answer was, “Oh, in about five years.” Welp, here we are at five years. And I’m thinking I could make it another five without kids. Every time we’re at a restaurant and there are kids screaming at a table nearby, or every time I think “Hey! We could go swim at the pool! Oh wait, there are peeing, screaming kids there all the time,” I remember that I’m really not so much ready for baby birthing just yet. Someday I will be. Someday when I’m convinced that our kids will be different. Check back with me in five years.

The last year has been pretty crazy. We moved across the country, I got a new job, we moved again into a much nicer apartment, and we got a kitty cat. But it hasn’t been bad - actually, the change has been good. I must say, I’m really enjoying life. I think we’ ve both adjusted well to Atlanta. And we’re happy. It’s weird when people ask how you’re doing, you know, how “you two” are doing. I don’t really know what to say, because it’s always the same answer. We’re happy. Things are going well. We love each other so much. But I always think that that’s what people would say even if they weren’t doing well. So I say things like, “We’re doing great! Brandon cleaned out the litter box for me.” And if that doesn’t prove that we’re in love and happy, I don’t know what will.

I think the first year of our marriage was the hardest, not because we argued or had difficulty adjusting to one another (we actually hardly ever argue; usually if we do it’s because I’m being unreasonable and need sleep, food, or air conditioning), but because of financial difficulty, health issues, and things like our apartment getting flooded or my car being broken into. We joked that something bad happened every 6 weeks, then it became every 3 months, and to date really bad stuff seems to happen about once a year. So chin up, newly-weds! It gets better. Not because bad things stop happening, but because you learn to deal with stuff together and roll with the punches.

I’m so glad that I married such a sweet, patient, loving person. Happy anniversary, Brandon.

Personality tests are stupid

So most of this test consists of questions like “are you uptight and frigid or are you a free-spirited hippy?” And the thing is, the results that I get on these tests completely depend on what kind of mood I’m in. What do you say to questions like, “do you value mercy or justice?” Well if I’m annoyed at the time, justice. Kill that guy on death row, he has it coming. But if I’m feeling gracious, mercy. I’ll try to understand his motives in the crime, what kind of background he had, what caused him to do what he did. (Assuming it’s a man - is that reverse sexism?) Anyway. It all depends.

And with questions like “is your desk orderly or messy?” it just depends on the day. Usually it’s messy, but I know where everything is. So in a way, it’s organized. And what about “do you think with your heart or your head?” Generally it’s with my head, because I’m very practical, but I’m not an accountant. No offense to accountants, but you know how you guys are. Very by-the-book and whatnot. I’m pretty flexible.

Maybe if the test was more descriptive, I’d get more accurate results. Because I don’t think I’m a huge introvert… I like hanging out with people, but after spending a whole day with a group, I need a few hours to myself to watch TV and poke out my belly. You know that time is important. So yeah. Personality tests are stupid.

Thinking

Is there anything louder than speakerphone in a place of business?

All environmentally-conscious people are skinny. Coincidence?

I think I might like to become a vegetarian, if it weren’t for chicken and seafood. Unfortunately, my reasons for becoming a vegetarian would not allow for righteous indignation at non-vegetarians, and that’s most of the joy that would come of it anyway. I really don’t feel like anything is wrong with eating meat. It can be quite tasty, and what are the animals going to do if we don’t eat them? I’ll tell you what the cows will do. Fart away the ozone layer.

No, I would stop eating meat for health reasons and also because I don’t really like the texture of most meat anyhow. I don’t like to eat hamburger meat unless it’s in chili; otherwise I find hamburger to be an undesirable consistency (especially if I happen upon gristle). And I hate animal fat. A bite of fat from a steak is enough to trigger a gag reflex.

Oh, I forgot. I really like ham. Have you ever had honey-baked ham? Mmm, slaughtered pig flesh. Okay, so that makes ham, poultry, and seafood that I still like. Maybe I shouldn’t sign up for the veggie way of life just yet.

All happy and stuff

I like living in Atlanta now. I know, at first I hated it. And then I tolerated it. But now, every once in a while, I get this realization that I love living here. Despite the traffic. Despite the humidity. Despite the lack of good mexican restaurants.

I love my job, too. Yeah, it can get busy. And sometimes it’s high stress. But my coworkers are great, I enjoy what I do, and as long as you get your work done, everyone’s happy. And this isn’t one of those employment honeymoon things, either. I’ve worked here since late August - by my count, the honeymoon should have ended by mid-September. Actually, I can generally tell if I’m going to hate a job by the end of the first week. And I still love my present job. I’m thankful for the horrible jobs I’ve had in the past, the managers who breathed down my neck, the degradation, because I appreciate what I have now.

If you hadn’t noticed, I’m not one of those people who walks around with a perma-grin. I don’t get excited easily. But every now and then I’m surprised by how happy I am. And I’m thankful for it.

Important Information

So I got one of those “all about me” e-mails today, and I spent so much time responding that I felt I should at least blog it. So here you are. The forward in its entirety:

I took the liberty of deleting lame questions. You are welcome!
DIRECTIONS: Now, here’s what you’re supposed to do…and please do not spoil the fun. Hit forward, delete my answers and type in your answers. Then send this to a whole bunch of people you know….and send it back to me so I can see your answers. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little known facts about those who know you.
Remember to send it back to the person who sent it to you!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE? Doubt it. I think I was named after a song.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED? Sunday.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? It’s messy, but I don’t care to improve it.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT? Ham.
5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? Nope.
6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU? Sure. We might clash, though. I get annoyed at people who have the same flaws as me.
7. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT? Yup. I mean, nooo. I totally don’t use sarcasm.
8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS? Last time I checked.
9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP? No. Not feeling dare-devilish lately.
10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL? Honey nut cheerios.
11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF? No.
12. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG? Physically? My legs are. My arms are weak.
13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM? Blackberry cobbler from Bruster’s.
14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE? Eyes.
15. RED OR PINK? Pink. Though I stay away from both colors in clothing generally.
16. WHAT IS THE LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF? Tend to be a pushover.
17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST? Family. And friends.
18. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING? Blue jeans, brown shoes.
19. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Frosted shredded wheat cereal.
20. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? “Country Sad Ballad Man” by Blur.
21. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Cornflower.
22. FAVORITE SMELLS? Brandon’s deodorant, Tide detergent, suntan lotion.
23. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Brandon.
24. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU? Yes
25. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH? Sports bad. Sports very bad.
26. HAIR COLOR? Brownish red, presently.
27. EYE COLOR? Green.
28. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Yup, or glasses.
29. FAVORITE FOOD? Spaghetti
30. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS? Definitely Happy Endings.
31. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Blades of Glory.
32. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING? Purple.
33. SUMMER OR WINTER? Winter.
34. HUGS OR KISSES? Both
35. FAVORITE DESSERT? Chocolate cake.
36. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING? None right now.
37. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Don’t have one.
38. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT? Reruns of Friends, Family Guy.
39. FAVORITE SOUND? Rain.
40. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES? Beatles.
41. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME? Eh, it depends on where “home” is. If home is my hometown, the answer is California.
42. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT? I can pinch with my toes. My toes are quite fearsome.
43. WHERE WERE YOU BORN? Columbus, GA.

April Showers

So I was in a wreck on Sunday. Turns out that hydroplaning on the interstate isn’t as fun as it looks. I’m okay, the front right headlight of my car isn’t feeling all that great, though.

Man, that was some scary stuff. As my car spun around to face the oncoming 18-wheeler and a chevy, I had one of those “oh wow, I’m going to die” moments. I hope to not have too many more moments like that for a long time.

So anyway, I’m glad to be here. I know that God totally watched over me, because it could have been far worse. And it’ll be a long time before I get on the interstate when it’s raining.

When it was all over and I was finally safe at home, I realized that it was April Fool’s Day. How appropriate.

Where the Blogging is Easy

Karen posted about her blogroll and happened to mention me and Brandon in it. I like reading stuff like this, not just because my ego needs a little attention every now and then, but because it’s nice to know that people who aren’t obligated to keep up with me actually read my site. Here’s what she said:

Brandon (and Wendy, for that matter) are people I don’t actually know in real life. We’re separated by the Pacific Ocean so it’s not really surprising. I started reading Brandon and Wendy back when they were sharing the same blog. Ben put me onto them (don’t know how Ben found them but maybe they were among the “famous” Christians of the blogosphere back then—or they knew famous people of the blogosphere). Anyway, I was interested in how a married couple would go at having a blog together, and certainly Mosaic Life was fun to read. Then Brandon gradually stopped posting and moved over to his own domain where he started to blog more about theological stuff (he took up studying theology) so Wendy had Mosaic Life all to herself. Wendy is a scream. Don’t believe the reviews—they don’t know what they’re talking about. If you haven’t read her blog, you certainly should.

Ah, I remember the days when Brandon and I had a blog together. Now he blogs about theological stuff, which is well and good because he has a passion for it. Plus, it tends to draw readers that are more - uh, studious? People who he would be more likely to encounter in his field of study and in his future career. And yes, generally those bloggers bore me. So it’s fine that he’s branched off in another direction. Did you notice that I changed my page description to read “Wendy’s Blog: That’s Right, All Hers” after he’d stopped blogging for about a year?

As for the “famous” Christian bloggers of the time, I’m guessing those people must have been Russ (whose blog, My Brain Hurts, has succumbed to its ailment) and Seth, whose blog is still alive, though I’d say it’s less popular due to his irregular posting and the subject matter, which has deviated from controversial, thought-provoking ideas about courtship and Calvinism to talk of comics, video games, and his vespa. I suppose he’s done argued all that he can on all the subjects that he cares to, and he’s passed the torch on to younger bloggers who still have that argumentative fire burning and can rehash the subjects that he’s already laid to rest. I also wrote for DYL, who, in its day, was perhaps a well-known Christian group blog.

There were other bloggers who we only knew online that took part in our “community.” Paulo got a fair amount of attention (Brandon finally met him in November of last year); he continues to provide interesting links and pictures of his cute kitty, Pandora. Dawn (Ladydusk) was another fairly popular blogger who Seth and Brandon first encountered, and she was around to witness the beginning of mine and Brandon’s relationship. She and her husband were nice enough to send us a crockpot when we got married (oh, and Paulo sent us a ladle). She still posts, though infrequently. Motherhood has probably taken up a lot of her time. Kristen is another blogger that commented on our blogs, and since then she has gotten married and has two children. Now she shares a blog with her husband, Mike, and her posts are mainly about motherhood and books.

Many of the sites that once were popular have lost that lovin’ feeling because of one factor: people have largely stopped commenting. Blame it on RSS, blame it on the plethora of blogs that are all alike, but whatever happened, blogs have taken a big hit due to the lack of community, feedback, and discussion that commenting provided. Sure, you’d get the occasional smackdown from a passing reader or a fellow blogger who is setting you straight, but it was worth it because of that feeling you got when you blogged something that got people talking, sharing, relating. When you have that, it’s hard to quit blogging.