I’ll tell you what I need

February 19, 2009 on 9:31 am | In entertainment | 3 Comments

Go to Google and type your name and the word ‘needs’, in quotes — as in “Andrew needs” - notice the first 10 intelligible sentences that come up. Here’s what I got (with my responses in brackets):

1. Wendy needs a patient, loving, and committed family who can provide structure. [I kind of have that already]

 

2. Wendy needs a little time. [I could always use some time]

 

3. Wendy needs every measuring cup and teaspoon she can find. [Oh heavens, do I ever!]

 

4. Wendy Needs to Wake Up! [Can…Can they see me?]

 

5. Wendy needs help to join the US Cavers Forum. [The what now?]

 

6. Wendy needs Mac help fast. [I don’t have a Mac. But I wouldn’t mind getting a Big Mac. Who’s up for Mcdonald’s? No one?]

 

7. Wendy Needs a Roommate!! [Yeah, Brandon never pays his rent.]

 

8. Spendy Wendy needs to Stoppy Shoppy. [Bahahaha. Best. Sentence. Ever.]

 

9. Wendy needs time and space says McLeish. [Thanks, McLeish]

 

10. Wendy needs your help! Help me! I’m lost & sick & cold! [Um. I’m thinking maybe this Wendy is a dog that should maybe be put to sleep.]

 

Good fun!

The next five years

February 8, 2009 on 4:52 pm | In school | 5 Comments

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