Mosaic Life

Memo

So for business communications class, we’re supposed to compose a memo about a problem a night student might face and how to deal with the problem. Unfortunately for me, my business communications teacher has not proven herself to take kindly to anything not serious. Here’s what I would do if she were more open:

Dear Fellow Students,

As you well know, we attend a university that is rich in history and diverse in culture. With age, the campus has gained charm, and it stands proudly, the bell tower ringing each new hour in which students may feast upon knowledge and wisdom.

Unfortunately, that means that the living dead also have acquired a love of feasting, and have developed a taste for the brilliant brains of the students. This may have caused alarm in many cases, as students often must walk across campus in the dark for evening classes and are confronted with hungry zombies. It is important to remain calm in such situations.

Students may find it in their best interest to arm themselves with firearms or blunt objects when attending night classes. Please remember that if you destroy the brain of the zombie by shooting it or bashing it, it will no longer pursue you and will be taken care of by the groundskeeper in the morning. However, do not destroy the zombie unless it is necessary. We desire to coexist, and only resort to violence when forced to.

Two birds with one stone

My sister and I are 2 years, 2 months, and 2 days apart in age. You could say the number 2 has significance in the family.

And now my sister is pregnant with twins. Continuing in the tradition of 2’s and all. We just found out that she is having a boy and a girl. The babies are due in May, but since twins generally arrive early, it could be late April.

I’m so happy for her and her husband, and I’m excited about having a new niece and nephew.

Bearskin 1, Monster 0

We took Monster with us to my dad’s house over the Thanksgiving break. As I may have mentioned, my dad has a safari of sorts in his living room, which includes the heads/skins of an elk, a zebra, and a wart hog, just to name a few. In the hallway there is a bearskin rug hung on the wall, and as Monster investigated the house, he happened to discover the bearskin, which scared him pretty badly. He reacted as though it were alive, and had snuck up behind him and was preparing to eat him.

Of course, we took pictures and laughed at our poor beast-cat. He arched his back, the fur standing straight up like a razor, forming a sort of cat mohawk. He lowered his ears and started making noises that resembled cat talk, not meowing or growling. And eventually (after taking plenty of pictures) we opened the door behind him so he could hide in the room until we wrapped him up in a sweater and took him somewhere safer, where the dead bear could not threaten him.

The yawn

So what are the implications of being caught yawning? Because, as I tend to yawn frequently what with my night owl tendencies and morning person job, people often say things like, “Caught you yawning!,” “Oh! Can’t start that!,” or “You will die a horrible death for yawning.” Okay, maybe not so much the last one, but you get the idea.

Day 4 of Brandon being in California

Things have gone well so far. The novelty of being able to eat all the ghetto Chinese food that I want wore off after day two. I spent much of the weekend hanging out with Karen and Dave (Dave goes to Candler with Brandon). Karen’s probably the first girl that I’ve befriended since high school/college. I mean, I’ve made female friends and acquaintences, but very few where our friendship made it past the small talk phase. For example:

Girl: How are school and work going?

Me: Great! Really busy. How’s your work?

Girl: Pretty good. Same old thing.

Me: …

Girl: …

Me: So, our husbands are friends.

Girl: Yes they are.

See, I’m not very good at making female friends. On the whole, I don’t really get girls. Even the friends I made in highschool or college, I don’t really understand them. Why don’t they call back ever? What’s with the flaking? I’ve had a friend from highschool give me the wrong cell number (on purpose? I have no idea), invite my own mother to a baby shower but not invite me, and ask me to hang out only to ignore my calls. Seriously, if I was a guy, I’d have given up on girls a long time ago. But it’s encouraging to make friends with a girl who doesn’t have issues. Especially since having guy friends is frowned upon in marriage land.

Anyway, I’m looking forward to Brandon getting home. He’ll be flying in just in time for the airport to be cramped with holiday travelers, so that should be interesting. It’ll be nice to have him back. Now I’ll have a partner again in fending off le chat.

Spring Classes

I registered for spring semester classes last night. First session of the semester: Public Speaking II and Special Topics in Philosophy—Plato’s Republic. Second session: German II and Survey of Broadcast Media.

I’m not so sure about the class on Plato’s Republic. I don’t want to get in over my head, what with neven having taken a philosophy class. Also, the people I know who are really into philosophy are guys, and they are generally either really zealous about it or they are very boring. Or both. At any rate, I have some time to change my decision if I am convinced that it’s a bad idea. If you have any familiarity with the subject, feel free to advise.

I have some mad catching up to do with German since I’ll be jumping into German II. I know how to say “where is my cat” in German (Wo ist meine katze?). I know, what more German do I need to learn?

Brandon is leaving this afternoon for the SBL conference in San Diego. Not really excited about that, but I know that he enjoys going, so it’s cool. I’ll just hole up in the apartment and eat ghetto Chinese food and fend off the cat. Good times.

All cats are surpisingly similar

This McSweeney’s open letter made me laugh. Similarities between this Abbie cat and Monster include the attacking of guests and the failure to bury poop in the litter box. Oh, and Monster can be quite the ingrate. But I love little Monster, and honestly I find it far too funny when I think about how vicious he can be.

Update: Found another letter to a cat that highly resembles Monster in action.

Shots, cats, and group work

I just got a flu shot, what with it being that time of year. It wasn’t so bad. The needle prick was nothing, really. When I was in elementary school, I had terrible allergies and had to get shots weekly, so I’m not really as needle-shy as most. The strains of weakened virus or whatever they pump into your arm with a flu shot did make my arm sore, though. But I got a tweety-bird bandaid, so it’s all good.

Le chat hasn’t been on Brandon’s good side in a few days. Monster gnawed a hole through his favorite cereal (after knocking it off the counter), knocked a full cup of soda onto the carpet, and repeatedly tried to eat his socks while they were still on his feet. I, on the other hand, have not suffered many offenses from Monster since I’m not home as often, which means that Monster’s chance of being drop-kicked off the balcony are lowered.

My Business Communications professor assigned a group project. I loathe group projects. She says that we need to learn to work as a “team” because that’s what it’s like in the real world. If so, that’s very depressing. You people in the real world, is this true? I mean, I thought I was in the real world, I thought that I’d been in the real world since I’ve been working full-time since I was 20, paying my own bills and being responsible since barely escaping my teenage years, but apparently I’m not in the real world yet. I suppose I’ll know when I’m there because I’ll have to do group work.

Anyway, nine out of ten group project experiences that I’ve had have been negative. There’s usually a slacker who doesn’t do anything, a well-meaning person with the writing level of a 9-year-old, a frustrated person who is ready to give up because of the other two, and me, the nerd who is dead-set on getting an A and will bear the burden of the whole group to get it done.

Apples

FYI: Even though Mcintosh apples and Fuji apples look alike, they are not the same at all. Mcintosh apples have that grainy texture that for years made me think that I hated apples, and Fuji apples are firm and altogether yummy.

You may now go about your business.