Memo

November 29, 2007 on 1:56 pm | In entertainment, school | 4 Comments

So for business communications class, we’re supposed to compose a memo about a problem a night student might face and how to deal with the problem. Unfortunately for me, my business communications teacher has not proven herself to take kindly to anything not serious. Here’s what I would do if she were more open:

Dear Fellow Students,

As you well know, we attend a university that is rich in history and diverse in culture. With age, the campus has gained charm, and it stands proudly, the bell tower ringing each new hour in which students may feast upon knowledge and wisdom.

Unfortunately, that means that the living dead also have acquired a love of feasting, and have developed a taste for the brilliant brains of the students. This may have caused alarm in many cases, as students often must walk across campus in the dark for evening classes and are confronted with hungry zombies. It is important to remain calm in such situations.

Students may find it in their best interest to arm themselves with firearms or blunt objects when attending night classes. Please remember that if you destroy the brain of the zombie by shooting it or bashing it, it will no longer pursue you and will be taken care of by the groundskeeper in the morning. However, do not destroy the zombie unless it is necessary. We desire to coexist, and only resort to violence when forced to.

  

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