Mosaic Life

Happy Halloween!

On Sunday we attended a pumpkin carving party and had the brilliant idea to carve a Christmas tree jack-o-lantern. Okay, I had the brilliant idea and Brandon went along with me because there really wasn’t that much of a better option.

What with retailers pushing the sale of Christmas items further and further into the months before (seriously, one store had Christmas trees for sale a week ago, and I heard Christmas music playing in another store), I figured the Christmas tree carving was entirely appropriate.

Anyway, happy halloween!

What Not to Wear

I watch way too much of the show, What Not to Wear on TLC. So I thought I’d give a rundown of what happens on each and every episode in case you haven’t seen the show.

Step 1: Stacy and Clinton watch video clips of someone very tacky. They surprise the person in front of their friends/family and haul them off to New York for a makeover.

Step 2: Stacy and Clinton go through the tacky person’s clothes and throw them in the trash after making fun of how tacky and worn out the clothes are.

Step 3: The tacky person laments to the camera that she didn’t think her clothes looked so bad and she likes who she is now and doesn’t want to change.

Step 4: The first day of shopping takes place. Tacky person mocks the clothing on the racks and doesn’t try anything on. Stacy and Clinton watch the first day footage and shake their fists at the screen, saying “Why didn’t she try anything on?!” When tacky person makes a purchase, she says, “I’ve NEVER spent this much money on clothes!”

Step 5: Tacky person buys less than $500 on the first day and doesn’t even put together a whole outfit. Stacy and Clinton declare this the worst a contestant has ever done on the first day.

Step 6: On Day 2 of the shopping spree, Clinton and Stacy surprise the person at the store. They then help the tacky person find clothes; tacky person starts to like the way she looks, and later gushes to the camera that she finally gets it.

Step 7: Tacky person goes for hair and makeup. Tacky person does not want to cut her hair. Nick gives it to her straight, her hair is doing nothing for her. She consents but acts like the cutting process is painful. Then she loves her hair and hugs Nick.

Step 8: Carmindy raves at how pretty the tacky person’s skin is. She then tells the person what is wrong with the way they are putting on their makeup, all the while looking at herself in the mirror as she talks. She uses eyeshadow that makes the tacky person’s eyes “pop” and a gloss on the lips that looks very natural.

Step 9: Tacky person arrives at a party/get together to impress friends/family. Friends/family are interviewed before she enters, and they say that they hope she looks more confident and put together.

Step 10: Tacky person arrives, her friends/family cheer, they are all impressed.

The end.

Monster hate junk mail!

Here’s a recent picture of Monster for comparison with the picture below.

In this picture he is helping us shred junk mail, because it’s way more efficient to have him eat the junk mail than for us to fire up the old shredder.

Isn’t he the cutest?

One of the best things about having a cat

Monster (Clawdius Catullus) made it onto Stuff On My Cat! The picture was taken back in May, but hey, it got on there!

You can tell from the background that this picture was taken in our old, crappy apartment. But that doesn’t make him any less cute. It’s weird to look back and see how small he was, especially in comparison to the (relative) beast he’s become. Just this morning he knocked over some water on my desk to wake me up because he was starving to death. Yes, there was cat food in his bowl, but it wasn’t the canned cat food, and was therefore inedible.

I remember how hard it was to get this picture. We tried to get him to fall asleep on a piece of bread, but he kept moving. So we settled for just the bread on top. It gets the point across that he’d make a fine delicacy, and that’s what’s important.

Burning California

Knowing that my husband and I had moved from SoCal, a coworker asked me if our friends and family were anywhere near the fires, so I figured I’d blog about it. As far as I know, Brandon’s relatives are all safe from the fires, though they are close to them. I know that my former workplace is pretty close to the fires as well, as documented by a former coworker, Crysti, on her website. Another former coworker and (partner in mocking others), The Dane, also blogged about the fires being rather close to his apartment. This hit close to home, or rather, our former home, what with it being less than a mile away from his.

When I lived in Southern California, I quickly learned of these crazy Santa Ana Winds that typically blew at sustained speeds of around 45 mph, and the way the winds, coupled with the dry heat, encouraged fires across the area. What’s sad is that the fires close to my friends/coworkers was started by arson, not natural causes or by mistake. I can’t imagine what people who have lost their homes are feeling right now, especially since homes in that area are incredibly expensive. The winds are supposed to die down a bit today, and hopefully that will give firefighters a chance to control the flames. We’ll see.

Wedding Fun

So on Saturday we attended my cousin’s wedding in southern Georgia. It was a perfect day for that sort of thing. The sky was clear and bright blue, the temperature around 75 degrees. Unfortunately, the trees were not changing colors as they normally would because Georgia is in a state of severe drought. So the leaves simply turn brown and fall off, sort of like Mother Nature flipping off the world.

Back to weddings. Here’s something I didn’t know about weddings in the South: you’re supposed to arrive 15-30 minutes early, because they start walking people down the aisle exactly at the time printed on the invitation. We got there exactly at 5:00 and had to push past the groomsman walking the mother of the groom down the aisle. Not really, but close. I don’t think this starting early thing happening at our wedding. But then again, I’m perpetually late to any event that I attend, so they probably had to wait for me before they could start. Anyway, this whole arriving 30 minutes early custom isn’t the norm in California as far as I know.

I figured out the purpose of the flower girl. She’s there for the amusement of the audience when things get boring, like during a long song. In this particular wedding the flower girl forgot her flowers and apparently forgot the importance of being dainty as she clomped down the aisle. The blond, blue-eyed cherub settled in front of the bridesmaids and immediately began showing signs of boredom. She pawed at her mother during the prayer, and wandered off after the minister had finished about three sentences. She then acquired a stick and commenced her attack on a palm tree.

All this to say that the flower girl was awesome. She should become a professional flower girl, if they have those. Although the collective opinion of those in the audience was that she “needed a good whoopin,’” I really enjoyed her performance. That was one of the least boring weddings I’ve attended in ages.

Free music, and it’s not even stolen

As you may have heard, Radiohead is allowing you to name your own price for their latest album, In Rainbows. That includes getting the download for free. I’m very interested in how they will do profit-wise. I think it’s a really cool idea. For one thing, it gets people to listen to the album, even if they aren’t traditionally Radiohead fans. For another, it does away with the whole pirated music thing (for them, anyway). And in our case anyway, it got us to give them money when we probably wouldn’t have bought the album, and at most, would have downloaded maybe two or three songs off iTunes.

So far the album is pretty much what you’d expect from Radiohead if you’ve heard any of their past music. It’s good for background noise. Like when you’re having people over and there is a lot of conversation going on, when you’re working, or when you’re just not in the mood to listen to music with a strong leaning on lyrics.

I’ve heard that some people who don’t really like Radiohead’s music have been donating $20 or more to them just because they like what they’re doing. I hope this starts a trend.

The big two-five

On Saturday I turned 25. That’s right; I am now in my mid-twenties. That’s such a weird thing to me. I mean, I’m no longer in my early twenties. And I’m inching toward 30. Thirty is the age where you like, have kids and buy houses.

You like my birthday cake? My sweet husband refuses to take credit for it. So we agreed that this could be my “joke” birthday cake. It actually tasted pretty good.

Birthday Wishes from the DMV

So here in the peachy state of Georgia, vehicle registration fees are due on your birthday. And since both of our cars have my name as the owner, it’s double the fun!

Isn’t that the most lame thing ever? You have a little money to spend on yourself for your birthday, and the DMV goes ahead and takes it away. It reminds me of that scene in Disney’s Robin Hood where the honorable sheriff of Nottingham takes away Skippy’s (the bunny’s) birthday farthing for taxes. Greedy DMV.

Recycle or else

So another warm winter has been predicted by our friendly weather predictors. I know many people disagree over whether global warming is caused by humans, sun activity, or God’s wrath, but let’s be practical here. If it is human-caused, I am going to get you people who don’t recycle and who drive Hummers. No seriously, you may enjoy your big giant gas guzzling luxuries, but me and my economy car are not amused. I hate hate hate warm weather. What’s the point of living in Atlanta if you don’t get a real winter? Well? I suffer through the torture that is the summer of Hot-lanta GA, and I expect to be repaid in full when winter comes.

If I don’t get to use my fireplace this winter, I’m totally going to join the tree huggers. And then won’t you feel guilty?