We Have a Winner

September 26, 2007 on 9:21 am | In random | 4 Comments

I went to the dentist for a cleaning/checkup yesterday. Whenever I go, I try to explain to the dental hygienist that I have very sensitive gums. Hearing this seems to be a treat for them, because they then say that it’s because I don’t floss enough. Then they lecture me and tell me I must not be doing it right. But I am. It’s just that my gums aren’t made of steel, and when poked and prodded by a dull needle (which is basically what their dental tools are) my gums bleed.

On the assumption that I don’t floss enough, the particular dental hygienist that cleaned my teeth seemed to increase her zeal in assaulting my gums. It was as though her pointed dental tool were a quarter and my gums were a lotto ticket, and by God she was going to find a winning square. After her assault was over, she even handed me a mirror to inspect “what happens to your gums when you don’t floss.” What she meant to say is, “this is what happens when you don’t floss and I take my wrath out on you to teach you a lesson.” Afterward I made a special trip to Target to purchase Anbesol, a numbing/cooling gel that, along with two advil, helped take the pain away.

By the way, I’m still holding my no cavity record. Despite my wussy gums.

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