Mosaic Life

Personality tests are stupid

So most of this test consists of questions like “are you uptight and frigid or are you a free-spirited hippy?” And the thing is, the results that I get on these tests completely depend on what kind of mood I’m in. What do you say to questions like, “do you value mercy or justice?” Well if I’m annoyed at the time, justice. Kill that guy on death row, he has it coming. But if I’m feeling gracious, mercy. I’ll try to understand his motives in the crime, what kind of background he had, what caused him to do what he did. (Assuming it’s a man - is that reverse sexism?) Anyway. It all depends.

And with questions like “is your desk orderly or messy?” it just depends on the day. Usually it’s messy, but I know where everything is. So in a way, it’s organized. And what about “do you think with your heart or your head?” Generally it’s with my head, because I’m very practical, but I’m not an accountant. No offense to accountants, but you know how you guys are. Very by-the-book and whatnot. I’m pretty flexible.

Maybe if the test was more descriptive, I’d get more accurate results. Because I don’t think I’m a huge introvert… I like hanging out with people, but after spending a whole day with a group, I need a few hours to myself to watch TV and poke out my belly. You know that time is important. So yeah. Personality tests are stupid.

Tofurkey!

So over the last week I’ve been testing the waters of the herbivore lifestyle. The verdict? Without the conviction that eating meat is wrong, it would be pretty hard.

Three items that I tried: Tofurkey, Boca Burgers, and soy milk. I know, most everyone has tried soy milk, and I know I have in the past (because the grocery stores were on strike so regular milk wasn’t available, plus, soy milk has like a 2-month expiration date). So yeah, soy milk’s pretty decent. I can handle that change. It’s got a tannish hue, and I find it a bit thinner than 2% milk, but it’s not bad.

Tofurkey, which is tofu turkey, is pretty good as well. We bought it at Trader Joe’s, and I must say, it isn’t half bad. We ate it with spinach tortillas, hummus, and tomatoes, and it made a pretty good lunch. The main difference from turkey is that it’s a bit less flexible and it has a brownish-green tint. Get past that, and you’re golden.

Boca burgers. Least favorite item. Has a sort of fatty, bouncy consistency. It would probably be better if it were overcooked. We grilled some boca burgers along with regular burgers, and I ended up eating a regular burger.

So the verdict? I may eat meat substitutes from time to time, but I doubt I’ll give up my carnivorous ways any time soon.

Thinking

Is there anything louder than speakerphone in a place of business?

All environmentally-conscious people are skinny. Coincidence?

I think I might like to become a vegetarian, if it weren’t for chicken and seafood. Unfortunately, my reasons for becoming a vegetarian would not allow for righteous indignation at non-vegetarians, and that’s most of the joy that would come of it anyway. I really don’t feel like anything is wrong with eating meat. It can be quite tasty, and what are the animals going to do if we don’t eat them? I’ll tell you what the cows will do. Fart away the ozone layer.

No, I would stop eating meat for health reasons and also because I don’t really like the texture of most meat anyhow. I don’t like to eat hamburger meat unless it’s in chili; otherwise I find hamburger to be an undesirable consistency (especially if I happen upon gristle). And I hate animal fat. A bite of fat from a steak is enough to trigger a gag reflex.

Oh, I forgot. I really like ham. Have you ever had honey-baked ham? Mmm, slaughtered pig flesh. Okay, so that makes ham, poultry, and seafood that I still like. Maybe I shouldn’t sign up for the veggie way of life just yet.

Concert Rundown

The concert turned out to be great fun. The Decemberists began promptly at 8:00 pm, and since they didn’t have an opening act, quite a bit of the audience missed out on their beginning song(s), “Crane Wife 1&2.” I’m glad we were on time, because that was my favorite song(s) of the night. The symphony added to “Crane Wife 1&2,” which is already lovely. The crescendos gave me chills, which is what crescendos are for I suppose, but I was impressed.

Here is a set list:

Crane Wife 1&2
The Infanta
We Both Go Down Together
The Bagman’s Gambit
Odalisque
Perfect Crime #2 (w/o symphony)
L.A. I’m Yours
The Tain
Oh Valencia (w/o Symphony)
I Was Meant for the Stage
16 Military Wives
The Mariner’s Revenge Song

The songs they played were mostly from Picaresque and Crane Wife. I wished I were more familiar with the songs from Picaresque (one of the few albums we didn’t have beforehand) because the songs are beautiful. The Tain, one of their longest songs, or four songs put together, however you want to see it, was great as well. All 18 minutes of it.

As we were making our way to the concert at Chastain Park, I thought it was odd that we saw so many people bringing bags of food and coolers. “Is this normal at concerts?” I asked Brandon. I could understand if it were a music festival, but specifically bringing food to eat there struck me as something that reduced the band to the level of a cocktail party pianist, playing as others dined.

Colin Meloy was good at engaging the audience—commenting on how the back of the crowd was prompt, how the people at the table had “fancy platters” before them (because they brought food—including wheat thins and cheese), and wishing the 94-year-old man a happy birthday.

I do wish they had have played “Yankee Bayonet” and “July! July!” as both would have been appropriate, what with it being Atlanta (Civil War central) and it being July. But I suppose that’s what I get for missing their Crane Wife tour. Plus, most of the songs were played with the Atlanta Symphony Orchestra and so, as Meloy said, they couldn’t take requests since you can’t really tell the orchestra to “jam in E.”

Anyway, I don’t really have time to write more, or I would. Suffice it to say that it was a great concert and I’m really glad we went.

On an unrelated note, my little iPod nano finally crapped out. It had a good run. I got it for my birthday in 2005, and considering the life of most technology, that’s not bad. And technically, it still plays songs. It just omits certain parts at its own discretion. Like the piano part in “Hey Jude.” Or the drums in “Sunshine” by the Decemberists. And I can’t be having that. Luckily I have a backup iPod, thanks to a generous gift from our former workplace last year. It’s not a nano, so it seems big right now, but I can watch video and hold way more songs. And if I can’t skip 50+ songs just to hear that one song I’m in the mood for, what’s the point? Exactly.

My Friday gift to you

Presenting my kitty, Clawdius “Monster” Catullus, doing the robot. Or being really angry. Either one.

In case you’re wondering, we didn’t do much to get him riled up. He gets annoyed at little things, like us not letting him bite us and such. Isn’t he the cutest?

My husband is rolling in brownie points

We’re going to see the Decemberists in concert tonight. The Decemberists are one of my favorite bands, and we have the majority of their albums, so I’m pretty excited about it.

Brandon was going to surprise me with the tickets. Friday night is date night for us (a tradition we’ve kept since early in our marriage), and so we were going to go to dinner as usual, and then he was planning to surprise me with the concert somehow. I’m not really sure if he planned to just drive there and refuse to tell me where we were going, which would have been dangerous as I have the tendency to want to control what’s going on, or to be difficult in general for no particular reason. Who knows. But unfortunately, I found out ahead of time. Because I am excellent at ruining surprises.

I called Brandon to ask about our schedule for weekends/nights over the next month, as work is getting busy and I had to confirm the times that I would be available. He made it really clear that I should keep the night of Friday, July 13th open. Knowing that he’d tried to surprise me with Death Cab for Cutie tickets on my birthday but it fell through because he had a business trip, I immediately searched “July 13 concerts Atlanta” on Google. And there it was, the Decemberists at Chastain Park. Which prompted me to message Brandon on Google Talk with a message sort of like, “THE DECEMBERISTS? We’re going to see the Decemberists? EEEEE I’m sooo excited, yay yay yay.” That’s right, I turned into a 13-year-old girl. Except I don’t have braces and I wasn’t crying.  He was a little bummed that he was unable to surprise me, and he tried to say something like “what? I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Of course that didn’t work, and eventually he admitted that he’d only been able to keep it a secret that he’d bought tickets for a day. You have to get up pretty early in the morning to surprise me. Just ask Clawdius. He knows.

I am totally excited about tonight. Eeeee, and whatnot.

It’s only fair

When I’m waiting at a stoplight and I see someone who needs to get out, I determine if I’ll help them out with two factors: how attractive they are and how nice their car is. If they’re very attractive and have a Lexus or a nicer car, I won’t let them out. I’ll just toy with my iPod or act like I have tunnel vision and that redlight is the object of my attention. If they’re moderately attractive and have a car priced under $25,000, I’m fairly likely to let them out. And if they’re ugly and driving a clunker, it’s their lucky day.

Why do I do this? A few reasons. For one, if the person attractive and has a nice car, his/her luck is already good. They don’t need my help to bring it up a notch. Studies have shown that attractive people are more likely to make more money. Which allows them to get nicer cars. So I’m leveling out the field. Plus, poor and ugly people are more likely to acknowledge my kindness. They’ll wave or nod. And that makes a difference. If people ignore me when I let them out and act like they’re entitled to it, that has the potential to annoy me for at least 5 minutes. And that’s 5 minutes that I could be spending rehashing a conversation I recently had or planning dinner. Precious time.

So there you go. If you see me in public and I let you out, it may not be the most flattering thing, but it’s my gesture of kindness.

Pieces of Christian History

Our friends were visiting from California this weekend, so we decided to go to the Michael C. Carlos museum on Saturday. Brandon and I have been before, because they have some pretty cool permanent items on display, but this time we went for the Cradle of Christianity exhibit. If you’re in the Atlanta area and you’re into that sort of thing, I’d definitely recommend it.

There are ossuaries on display, including that of Caiaphas the High Priest (new testament villain). You can also see part of a major Dead Sea scroll (granted, it’s in low light—which goes off every 15 seconds or so, with a protective layer of tinted glass, and they really don’t take kindly to anyone wielding a camera with flash around it). But still, neat-o! Also, they have a full-scale reconstruction of the chancel of a Byzantine-era church.

It was a very educational experience. It was cool to be in the presence of items of such historical value. And it’s cool to know that there are others who are way more into stuff like this than me, and yet I got to see it and they didn’t. That’s right. I was thisclose to a piece of the Temple scroll. How do you like them apples?