In which I argue with songs
June 27, 2007 on 9:47 am | In rant | 3 CommentsI’m going to cross the ideas behind my advice to bands from 20 years ago blog and my arguing with signs blog, thereby making an arguing with songs blog. Sort of like this one where I made it clear that “catch my disease” is not an attractive request.
The song of topic today is “If Everyone Cared” by Nickelback. I’ve heard this song on the radio a few times. For a while I wasn’t sure which grungy Creed-like band did this song - not that it really matters. It all blends together anyway in the mediocre pool of songs that “best hits” radio stations rotate without thought or passion. Anyway. Anyone who has been unlucky enough to be in the car with me when this song graced the radio waves has already heard this rant, because I just can’t hold this rant in if I listen to more than a minute of the song (in the incidence that I forget my iPod and all the other stations, including the mariachi stations, are playing commercials).
Let’s get to it then.
I get the idea. If everyone cared, shared, loved, stopped lying, and ingested their pride, no one would die, right? Because there would be no murder, no negligence, no suicide, no reason to cry. That’s a lovely idea.If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we’d see the day when nobody died
But it’s WRONG. It’s completely unrealistic. People will die. No, really. And it’s good. Overcrowding the earth? Not good. We’d have all kinds of diseases, lack of food, not enough room. Plus, sometimes people are just ready to die. They’re old, in pain, ready to go. And I don’t think they’d take kindly to people who are holding them back by caring and not lying. Which is why they would probably give them a good whack with their cane, thereby causing death to reenter the earth’s realm because of all the crying and stuff.
Perhaps the song could be altered to say, “we’d see the day when nobody died prematurely or needlessly.” I’d give them that. But to claim that goodness will make death go away? That’s just crazy talk put to music.
A Website after my own heart
June 26, 2007 on 10:24 am | In rant | 1 CommentI hate cilantro. I love www.ihatecilantro.com. Cilantro: the most offensive food known to man.
Just this weekend I ordered chicken from a Mexican restaurant, and it arrived covered in cilantro. It was so perfect before, though. Grilled chicken, a thin layer of cooked spinach, avocados, mushrooms, and a layer of cheese. And then they scattered a heap of cilantro on top. Bleh. I meticulously removed most of the offending herb, but every once in a while I’d bite into the vile plant and my tastebuds would be assaulted by the unmistakable aftertaste.
The anti-cilantro site even has a chart showing what the members think cilantro tastes like. I’ve never eaten a stink bug, but I imagine it would taste like cilantro. I bet restaurants wouldn’t scatter stink bugs on Mexican dishes. Why cilantro? Death to cilantro!
I’ll end with a haiku from the site.
Freedom haters wail:
“Cilantro! More cilantro!”
The terrorists win.
Georgia Aquarium
June 25, 2007 on 2:36 pm | In entertainment | No Comments
My sister, my mom, and I went to the Georgia Aquarium yesterday. It was pretty fun. There were lots of fishies, and some interactive activities, like the “touching pool” where you can poke and prod sea anemones, shrimp, hammerhead sharks, and stingrays.
A warning for those considering visiting the Georgia Aquarium. DO NOT GO ON THE WEEKEND. I know, duh, right? But seriously. It gets all kinds of crowded. You can buy tickets online, but realize that you’ll still have to stand in a big line. Oh, and don’t bring chewing gum. They’ll confiscate it so that you don’t spit it in their open tanks. And if those fish aren’t annoyed enough from being poked and prodded, having chewed gum in their tanks will definitely push them over the edge.
But I’m glad we went. I got to see a beluga whale, a whale shark, some penguins that were difficult to photograph, and a whole bunch of different kinds of fish. So if you have a hankering to look at some fish, I recommend it.
All happy and stuff
June 20, 2007 on 3:07 pm | In introspective, random | No CommentsI like living in Atlanta now. I know, at first I hated it. And then I tolerated it. But now, every once in a while, I get this realization that I love living here. Despite the traffic. Despite the humidity. Despite the lack of good mexican restaurants.
I love my job, too. Yeah, it can get busy. And sometimes it’s high stress. But my coworkers are great, I enjoy what I do, and as long as you get your work done, everyone’s happy. And this isn’t one of those employment honeymoon things, either. I’ve worked here since late August - by my count, the honeymoon should have ended by mid-September. Actually, I can generally tell if I’m going to hate a job by the end of the first week. And I still love my present job. I’m thankful for the horrible jobs I’ve had in the past, the managers who breathed down my neck, the degradation, because I appreciate what I have now.
If you hadn’t noticed, I’m not one of those people who walks around with a perma-grin. I don’t get excited easily. But every now and then I’m surprised by how happy I am. And I’m thankful for it.
Saying What Hallmark Can’t
June 17, 2007 on 8:53 am | In Uncategorized | No CommentsFather’s Day cards never really fit my Dad. He doesn’t golf. He doesn’t have some sort of fixation on hammocks. He doesn’t hog the remote. And I’m glad of it, because it means my Dad doesn’t play into the greeting card cliche dads. Take that, Hallmark.
He loves the outdoors. He loves shooting rifles and teaching others to do so with skill. He loves his dog, even when the dog pees on the frisbee rather than retrieving it. He loves being alone, though his cell phone rings far too often for him to truly be a “loner.”
He encourages my sister and I to be more healthy, and to take vitamin C. And then to take more vitamin C. No, more.
He lets us know that he loves us every time he calls. He encourages me to write. And he lets me and my sister know that he’s proud of us. That means a lot.
Happy Father’s Day, Dad. We love you!
Morning Antics
June 16, 2007 on 8:52 am | In pets | No Comments
Clawdius doesn’t take kindly to us sleeping in. Under his rule, wakeup time is 7:30 am. This morning Brandon was up before that time, because he was getting ready to go to the airport. He’s spending the week in California for work.
So since Brandon was already up, it was my turn to wake up. Clawdius tried the usual method to rouse me from slumber: Walking right to my face and licking my nose and chin. I rolled over and shielded my face with my arm. Thwarted by my elbow, he perched himself on my shoulder and purred loudly. Then he retreated. Or so I thought. A few minutes later, I felt him licking my foot. That seriously tickled. So I finally got up.
While I brushed my teeth, I felt water sprinkle on my foot. I looked down to see Clawdius shaking water from his soaked legs and lower body. I followed the path of water right up to the toilet. I guess he took a little morning swim. I made a mental note to give him a bath after returning from the airport.
And now here I am, Clawdius at my feet, wet and annoyed after his bath. The cat shampoo smells like baby powder, which reminds me of the whole “replacing babies with pets” thing that some people do. I think next time I’ll get a different scent so people don’t think I’m a crazy cat lady - any moreso than before, anyway.
Owning my paleness
June 13, 2007 on 8:37 am | In Uncategorized | 5 Comments
So I’ve decided to boycott tanning this summer. Which is kind of difficult. The peer pressure to tan is strong, but I must resist. The bad just outweighs the good.
(Bonus! A picture of me at a recent wedding reception owning my paleness with zeal. And looking a little dreamy-eyed.)
The good:
- Tanned skin just looks better than pale skin. Darker skin hides blemishes and imperfections. And let’s face it. Cellulite (which - knock on laminated wood - I do not yet have) just looks better when it isn’t covered with bright white skin.
- Tanning is in style. Unfortunately, we do not live in the nineteenth century, when being pale was a sign of high social status and wealth (because, you know, pale people didn’t have to work in the fields). Now being pale just means that you do not have leisure time to spend at the beach or in the sun, you can’t afford the tanning bed, or you are boycotting tanning. Like me. Go me.
The bad:
- Skin cancer. Not hot. I’d rather not have chunks of skin removed for biopsies. And I’m at rather high risk for it - I burn easily and have difficulty tanning, I have green eyes, I freckle (not much - just a sprinkle of freckles across my cheeks and nose, but still), and I have naturally light brown hair.
- Skin that ages quickly and resembles a leather bag. Plus, sunspots. Also not hot.
But there is an option for sunless tanning - the spray-on tan, which still hasn’t been perfected. It has a tendency to streak or turn your skin orange. And it stinks. There is definitely a distinct smell about it. Plus, it stains your elbows and knees. You could avoid applying it to those areas, but it looks strange to be dark and have white elbows and knees.
So anyway. I’ve decided to stay out of the sun, own my paleness, accept the fact that I am a whitey. Bring on the 45 SPF.
Feeling Better Now
June 8, 2007 on 1:37 pm | In Uncategorized | No CommentsI spent the week with a stomach virus. It pummelled me Monday night and proceeded to give me the stomach virus smackdown until yesterday. I suppose it is exhausted, what with all the work it’s done in the past three days, and it slumbers until I eat, at which time it rolls over, threatens me and jabs me a few times before drifting back into lazy slumber.
I’ve drank some serious gatorade this week. I’ve also eaten my share of Jell-o. And I could go into some really gross details but I’ll spare you this once. Because it’s Friday. Happy Friday.