In which I argue with songs

June 27, 2007 on 9:47 am | In rant | 3 Comments

I’m going to cross the ideas behind my advice to bands from 20 years ago blog and my arguing with signs blog, thereby making an arguing with songs blog. Sort of like this one where I made it clear that “catch my disease” is not an attractive request.

The song of topic today is “If Everyone Cared” by Nickelback. I’ve heard this song on the radio a few times. For a while I wasn’t sure which grungy Creed-like band did this song - not that it really matters. It all blends together anyway in the mediocre pool of songs that “best hits” radio stations rotate without thought or passion. Anyway. Anyone who has been unlucky enough to be in the car with me when this song graced the radio waves has already heard this rant, because I just can’t hold this rant in if I listen to more than a minute of the song (in the incidence that I forget my iPod and all the other stations, including the mariachi stations, are playing commercials).

Let’s get to it then.

If everyone cared and nobody cried
If everyone loved and nobody lied
If everyone shared and swallowed their pride
Then we’d see the day when nobody died

I get the idea. If everyone cared, shared, loved, stopped lying, and ingested their pride, no one would die, right? Because there would be no murder, no negligence, no suicide, no reason to cry. That’s a lovely idea.

But it’s WRONG. It’s completely unrealistic. People will die. No, really. And it’s good. Overcrowding the earth? Not good. We’d have all kinds of diseases, lack of food, not enough room. Plus, sometimes people are just ready to die. They’re old, in pain, ready to go. And I don’t think they’d take kindly to people who are holding them back by caring and not lying. Which is why they would probably give them a good whack with their cane, thereby causing death to reenter the earth’s realm because of all the crying and stuff.

Perhaps the song could be altered to say, “we’d see the day when nobody died prematurely or needlessly.” I’d give them that. But to claim that goodness will make death go away? That’s just crazy talk put to music.

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