I've already saved three blogs as drafts this week. I've been meaning to write something, but when I do, I can't work up the courage to press publish for fear of being nerdy, as if I'm not anyway.

So I'll ask you, the reader. What do you want to know? What should I blog about? I know you're there. I see the hits. So out with it. Here's your chance to make me blog about something that isn't random and pointless. So don't waste your chance.

Bang Bang, You're Dead.

Friday five from last week, influenced by Cheney's hunting incident:

1. Do you have good hand-eye coordination?
I guess so. I'm generally good at video games, and um... Duels.

2. Have you ever held a gun?
Why yes, starting at a young age. I have a picture of me holding a gun when I was about four years old. It was a 22 rifle. I had good form, too. And I didn't shoot my eye out.

3. What do you think of toy guns?
I'm all about some toy guns. Boys are especially violent, and if not supplied with a toy gun, will use a Barbie Doll, stick, or carrot as a gun, announcing "bang! you're dead." Fortunately I had real guns as a child. Can you tell my dad is a strong supporter of the NRA?

4. When is the last time you asked for forgiveness?
I ask God for forgiveness all the time. The last time I asked for forgiveness from a non-omnipotent being was probably when Brandon got mad at me for calling him a silly name or making up a silly song about him.

5. Your favorite Aerosmith song:
Um. I dunno. Crazy? I like mocking Aerosmith. Like that song where he's like "I don't wanna close my eye-zah, I don't wanna fall asleep cuz I'd miss you Bay-bah..." Good times.

You should try humming "Ride of the Valkyries" while doing menial tasks such as washing dishes or vacuuming. For some reason, it makes me laugh.

Just so you know, that new spicy chicken sandwich at McDonald's is nothing compared to Wendy's spicy chicken sandwich. Yes, Wendy's the fast food chain.

Off the subject, have I mentioned how many lame jokes my name has earned me? "It's Windy outside, Wendy" (southerners pronounce my name as "wiiiindy" while it's actually pronounced "whendy"). "Can I get a bacon cheeseburger, Wendy?" "Where's Peter Pan?" And, since my maiden name is Rogers, people asked, "So your dad is Mr. Rogers?"
But, I am kind, and generally give a sympathy laugh to those who attempt those jokes.

Anyway, all that to say don't try McDonald's spicy chicken sandwich. The chicken is poor quality, and the spicy flavor is less spicy and more buffalo-ish.

You may now commence to telling me how nasty McDonald's is, and how you're too good to eat there. Go ahead. You know you were thinking it.

I remember this line in Legally Blond (er, not that I've ever seen it. Okay fine, I've seen it, but only because it comes on TBS like, every day) where Reese Witherspoon is explaining why this woman who taught aerobics couldn't have killed her husband:

Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy. Happy people don't just go around shooting their husbands.

I started working out three times a week beginning in January (no, it wasn't some lame New Year's resolution) and I have to say, I've noticed a difference in my mood. Especially the day after I exercise. I feel less stressed, and generally more cheerful. However, it could also have something to do with the fact that last semester I had class four nights a week, and this semester I have class one night a week, along with an internet class. And I'm only taking one less unit.

This whole feeling happy thing is great. I've never been a naturally cheerful person. I'm still not, but I'm getting closer. I've always felt like even at my most positive, joyful mood, I'm still levels below most people's most positive, joyful moods. Perhaps, like the Grinch, my heart was two sizes too small. But I'm up at least half a size I'd think. So yay for endorphins! And of course, yay for God who blessed me with a schedule that allows me time to exercise.

Happy Valentines Day! I hope you gets lots of chocolate, whether you're in a relationship right now or not.

And to my sweetie, thanks so much for the ATHF dvd's and chocolate. You're so thoughtful. I love you more every day.

I stumbled upon an essay I wrote for my Anthropology class a few years ago. We were asked to write an epitaph and a few paragraphs on the afterlife. I wrote it knowing that my professor and most of my classmates were not Christians, and mocked Christianity enthusiastically. Here it is:

Obituary:
Mrs. Wendy M. Wason, 82, died on Monday after suffering a heat stroke. She had been gleefully chasing children out of the yard of her humble mansion when she suddenly expired. She is survived by her husband, 84, who stayed inside, and her 15 children and 22 grandchildren. Funeral proceedings will take place on Thursday for any that would like to attend.

Epitaph:
Wendy Marie Wason
October 1982 – July 2065
“You kids better not be playing near my gravestone!”

Knowing that death is imminent, how should we live? Above I joked about dying a grumpy old lady who had a heat stroke as she ridded her yard of neighborhood children, but in truth I would want to be a kind old lady who would be remembered for her generosity and faith rather than a heat stroke and fifteen children. Simple as I may sound, I believe that there is an afterlife, a heaven, a hell, and an all-knowing God. So for me, living knowing that I will die means striving to live a life in which I am helpful and loving to my family and those around me, giving what I can to improve the lives of others, and trying to improve my own traits and do as the Bible teaches. However, if one believes there is no God, then “eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die.” If this is all that there is, and if there is no afterlife, then what a waste it would be to not enjoy the only heaven that is afforded to us.

So what happens afterward? Though it may sound simple, I believe that all souls go on living eternally, whether in heaven or hell. In heaven, souls will be reunited with their creator and enjoy fellowship with him in a place that has no death or sadness, a place that really I can’t imagine.

But then on the other side there is the theory that perhaps man created god, forgot he did it, then started allowing god to rule him. What a dirty trick man played on himself, then. In some ways, man would be better from the rules instituted by religion. Do not glutton, be a drunkard, murder, or steal. Those rules obviously improve the health and well-being of those who follow them. With rules such as “do not lie,” it’s a little less obvious to see the benefits. We all know the worn-out phrase, “nice guys finish last.” There are quite a few instances when having no conscience and feeling no regret can put a person far ahead of others in this life.

I just noticed that Costco sells caskets and urns. My coworker commented that, "it is a one-stop shopping experience." Indeed, from the cradle to the grave.

I must admit, I'd feel a little cheap telling the mortuary that I'm going to provide my own casket from a wholesale store. But I do think it's crazy to have to pay so much to die. So maybe this is a good thing. I wonder if you can buy them in 10 packs.

During discussion in my Literature class, we somehow got on the question "what does America have to offer that no other country has?" I thought about this for a while, even after the rest of the students shook their heads, declaring America worthless when it came to innovation and technology, and moved on, undaunted by the realization that their country has nothing to offer. But see, I knew there had to be something. I was brainwashed as a child to be patriotic for a reason, right?

Well I thought of something. Pop culture. Other countries may hate America, but they'll listen to our music, try to dress like us, and watch our tv shows. I realized that when we were watching a German tv show in my German class, and they were doing a countdown of the most popular songs. Three out of ten were from the US. I also know people from Great Britain watch shows like Friends, and try their best to rap in ebonics. It's very cute to hear them try to rap.

Perhaps Japan produces better quality cars. Maybe India will be the center of technology in the near future. Perhaps China will steal most of our jobs because whatever we can do, they can do it cheaper. But dangit, we've got Jessica Simpson. In yo face!

A conversation before the Superbowl:

Brandon: Tell you what, you pick a team to root for, and I'll root for the other team.
Wendy: Okay. I choose the Steelers. Mainly because I like the name. I know that they aren't the Stealers, like people who steal things, but it sounds like it, and that's cool.
Brandon: Go Seahawks!

That's right, Steelers. I'm your number one fan.
STEELERS RULE!

Okay, what is this "Americans need to end their addiction to oil" thing? It's not an addiction. It's not like gasoline is crack. I drive a Civic, and I get good gas mileage. But I still need gas. It's sort of like saying people should stop being addicted to food. Sure, you could be a small person and only require a little food, but you will still want more eventually. You need food, while you do not need heroine. That right there is the difference between a need and an addiction.

I would gladly buy one of those hybrid cars if I had the money. Or come up with some new and cheap source for fuel. But I'm not a scientist, and I have better things to do. Like rant about this. And I'm sure it's very important to find alternate sources for fuel, but do not call our dependence on oil an addiction. That's just silly.