Bloated Santa vs. Out-of-Control Frosty
Apparently, it's cool to put inflatable Christmas figures on your yard these days. But I've seen quite a few houses this year where the yards have been overtaken by inflatable Santas, reindeer, snowmen, etc. And that gets a little bit tacky. Really, one inflatable Christmas figure is enough. And since Santa and Frosty are the main two big guys, I think it's inevitable that they will fight to win their place in the yard. Who do you think would win?
Santa is obviously the popular one of the season. He's the one who brings the gifts and lets little kids sit on his lap and cry, or pee on him, whatever comes natural. He's overweight, but that obviously doesn't affect his health, because he's old, like, really old. Plus he's got that sack. Who knows what's in that sack? He could bash Frosty good with that sack. His weakness? Food. He loves him some food. Below, Santa waves at the masses, pretending he is Miss America.
But then you have Frosty, the frost man, the frostinator. He's new every winter, having melted (died) and been reincarnated on a yearly basis. He's like the phoenix. His weakness is definitely heat. But unless Santa comes after him with his corncob pipe, Frosty's good. Because if you hit him, he'll just reform. Snow people are like that. Below, you see that Frosty is 8 feet tall. Notice Frosty is preparing his boxing gloves for the fight. That little girl had better watch out.
But you know what? This is not what Christmas is all about. Secular Christmas is about peace and love, and materialism. Not fighting for dominion of the yard. So let's compromise, hmm?
That's more like it. Nothing brings people together (inflatable or not) like a Christmas tree.
Santa is obviously the popular one of the season. He's the one who brings the gifts and lets little kids sit on his lap and cry, or pee on him, whatever comes natural. He's overweight, but that obviously doesn't affect his health, because he's old, like, really old. Plus he's got that sack. Who knows what's in that sack? He could bash Frosty good with that sack. His weakness? Food. He loves him some food. Below, Santa waves at the masses, pretending he is Miss America.
But then you have Frosty, the frost man, the frostinator. He's new every winter, having melted (died) and been reincarnated on a yearly basis. He's like the phoenix. His weakness is definitely heat. But unless Santa comes after him with his corncob pipe, Frosty's good. Because if you hit him, he'll just reform. Snow people are like that. Below, you see that Frosty is 8 feet tall. Notice Frosty is preparing his boxing gloves for the fight. That little girl had better watch out.
But you know what? This is not what Christmas is all about. Secular Christmas is about peace and love, and materialism. Not fighting for dominion of the yard. So let's compromise, hmm?
That's more like it. Nothing brings people together (inflatable or not) like a Christmas tree.
