Math + Me = Bleh
I've always hated math. I have this mental block when it comes to the subject. My resistance to it became evident in elementary school. I'd march up to my teacher's desk maybe a few seconds after she'd assigned problems, announcing that I couldn't do it. This of course, frustrated the teacher because I had a bad attitude to begin with. "Don't say you can't do it. You can do it. Say it. Say 'I can do it.'" But my hatred of math and my ability to be stubborn are darned near equal. I couldn't even form the words because I was so convinced that I couldn't, I just couldn't and that was that. Why couldn't the teacher accept this and do the problems for me?
I think my resistance to math had a lot to do with pride. In every other subject I was able to turn in my work first, often before lunch, which left me with free time for the rest of the day. But I struggled and slogged my way through math problems, often finishing near last. I couldn't believe that kids that (I felt) were less intelligent were actually turning in their work before me (I meant it when I said I was prideful). How could that be? The only possible answer was that I was stupid.
But the other night in my Math for Liberal Arts Students class, I had an epiphany. We were doing extra-credit problems with partners, and I noticed that we were almost the only ones left in class - meaning everyone else had finished and left. When I commented that to my partner, she shrugged and said "yeah, everyone else gave up, but we're going to finish this." That's when the epiphany hit.
They gave up.
Why had I never thought of this? I'm such a super dork that the thought never occurred to me that people could give up, that they would even consider trading good grades for the opportunity to leave early. So maybe that's what was happening all along. I mean, sure, other students finished before me because they really are smarter. Which, y'know, is quite possible and maybe even probable. That's fine. I was just so relieved to realize that I'm not retarded when it comes to math. Just naive. And dorky. But I can totally live with that.
I think my resistance to math had a lot to do with pride. In every other subject I was able to turn in my work first, often before lunch, which left me with free time for the rest of the day. But I struggled and slogged my way through math problems, often finishing near last. I couldn't believe that kids that (I felt) were less intelligent were actually turning in their work before me (I meant it when I said I was prideful). How could that be? The only possible answer was that I was stupid.
But the other night in my Math for Liberal Arts Students class, I had an epiphany. We were doing extra-credit problems with partners, and I noticed that we were almost the only ones left in class - meaning everyone else had finished and left. When I commented that to my partner, she shrugged and said "yeah, everyone else gave up, but we're going to finish this." That's when the epiphany hit.
They gave up.
Why had I never thought of this? I'm such a super dork that the thought never occurred to me that people could give up, that they would even consider trading good grades for the opportunity to leave early. So maybe that's what was happening all along. I mean, sure, other students finished before me because they really are smarter. Which, y'know, is quite possible and maybe even probable. That's fine. I was just so relieved to realize that I'm not retarded when it comes to math. Just naive. And dorky. But I can totally live with that.
