How To Sell Your Scary Movie
I figure How To's are always useful, and since I'm just full of knowledge, I just may start posting them from time to time for your benefit. Today I will tell you how to make a commercial for your scary movie.
For people to realize your movie is scary, make sure you have a child whispering about it. Nothing is scarier than a child whispering. The kid could tell us where the creepy being lives, or perhaps that they play with them because y'know, nothing makes a better companion for a creepy kid than a ghost or alter ego. Perhaps even have the kid sing a familiar song in an all-new creepy kind of way. Because, once again, kids are scary. An out of tune piano is good, especially if it plays songs slowly. Good songs to use are "twinkle twinkle, little star" or perhaps "bicycle built for two."
If you're a seasoned director with quite a few scary movies under your belt, don't feel like you have to be more creative. Use the cliche scary movie advertising method that I just described. Because you're lazy, and you probably figure that most of the people that see your commercial are brain-damaged and their limited ability to recall the millions of films advertised the same way will make this seem fresh and new. You are welcome. Now hop to it!
For people to realize your movie is scary, make sure you have a child whispering about it. Nothing is scarier than a child whispering. The kid could tell us where the creepy being lives, or perhaps that they play with them because y'know, nothing makes a better companion for a creepy kid than a ghost or alter ego. Perhaps even have the kid sing a familiar song in an all-new creepy kind of way. Because, once again, kids are scary. An out of tune piano is good, especially if it plays songs slowly. Good songs to use are "twinkle twinkle, little star" or perhaps "bicycle built for two."
If you're a seasoned director with quite a few scary movies under your belt, don't feel like you have to be more creative. Use the cliche scary movie advertising method that I just described. Because you're lazy, and you probably figure that most of the people that see your commercial are brain-damaged and their limited ability to recall the millions of films advertised the same way will make this seem fresh and new. You are welcome. Now hop to it!
