I thought it would be a nice service to the music-makers of the world if I issued them advice, based on the details in their songs. However, I am only going to issue the advice to bands whose songs were popular at least two decades ago. This way, the advice will either be useless because the singer is already dead, or the advice will finally be heard, as the singer is now a has-been and he actually reads blogs written by nobodies. So here we go:
My advice to you, George Harrison (wait, are you that ex-beatle? are you dead? my, I'm too lazy to do any research) is to set your sights on someone less high-maintenance. Instead of "I got my mind set on you," you could sing "I wouldn't mind settling for less with you." Just as catchy.
Mr. Ocean, you wouldn't have had to try so hard if you'd have simply offered her some candy. Everyone knows if you're trying to lure someone into your car, you offer them candy, rather than singing a song about it that includes the lyrics "Hey, let's make a deal Make it real Like a road runner Coming after you."
That's it for now, perhaps more advice later. If you're a has-been 80's pop star, feel free to leave some songs in the comments so that I can give you advice on how it should have went down. Thanks.
Got My Mind Set on You
by George Harrison
But it's gonna take money
A whole lotta spending money
It's gonne take plenty of money
To do it right child
It's gonna take time
A whole lot of precious time
It's gonna take patience and time, ummm
To do it, to do it, to do it, to do it, to do it,
To do it right child
My advice to you, George Harrison (wait, are you that ex-beatle? are you dead? my, I'm too lazy to do any research) is to set your sights on someone less high-maintenance. Instead of "I got my mind set on you," you could sing "I wouldn't mind settling for less with you." Just as catchy.
Get Outta My Dreams; Get Into My Car
by Billy Ocean
Get outta my dreams
Get in to my car
Get outta my dream
Get in to the back seat baby
Get in to my car
Beep Beep, yeah
Get outta my mind
Get in to my life
Ooooooh
Mr. Ocean, you wouldn't have had to try so hard if you'd have simply offered her some candy. Everyone knows if you're trying to lure someone into your car, you offer them candy, rather than singing a song about it that includes the lyrics "Hey, let's make a deal Make it real Like a road runner Coming after you."
That's it for now, perhaps more advice later. If you're a has-been 80's pop star, feel free to leave some songs in the comments so that I can give you advice on how it should have went down. Thanks.
