Christmas. It's great, isn't it? You get stuff, you give stuff. And many fond memories are tied to the season. Here are a few of mine:
• When I was baby Jesus in our church play.
Okay, I don't remember it, but I heard about it, and I saw pictures. Basically, I was 2 months old, and a little shepherd boy decided it would be cool to use his staff to take out my eyes. My mom rescued me like a good (and angry) mom should, and the shepherd followed after her, what with his eyeball removing job unfinished. And my dad got pictures of it all.
• When my mom planted the Christmas tree in the front yard.
Since it wouldn't stand up, she tied it to the lawnmower and another tree. Surprisingly, the tree turned brown and did not sprout roots from its severed trunk. Don't worry, quite a few people saw it before that point. We still laugh about that.
• The way Sutty (my recently deceased kitty) used to eat the tinsel off the Christmas tree. He'd have about 2 inches of tinsel hanging out of his mouth, which we'd pull out, only to find much more. Yummy.
• The way Santa would assemble some of my toys incorrectly.
What with my parents having to sneak out the toys in the wee hours of the morning (and assemble the larger ones), it wasn't uncommon for there to be a few mistakes. So when I'd say, "Dad, my toy cradle won't rock" he'd reply "I guess Santa's elves didn't do a very good job. Let's see if I can fix it." Lazy elves.
• When I was baby Jesus in our church play.
Okay, I don't remember it, but I heard about it, and I saw pictures. Basically, I was 2 months old, and a little shepherd boy decided it would be cool to use his staff to take out my eyes. My mom rescued me like a good (and angry) mom should, and the shepherd followed after her, what with his eyeball removing job unfinished. And my dad got pictures of it all.
• When my mom planted the Christmas tree in the front yard.
Since it wouldn't stand up, she tied it to the lawnmower and another tree. Surprisingly, the tree turned brown and did not sprout roots from its severed trunk. Don't worry, quite a few people saw it before that point. We still laugh about that.
• The way Sutty (my recently deceased kitty) used to eat the tinsel off the Christmas tree. He'd have about 2 inches of tinsel hanging out of his mouth, which we'd pull out, only to find much more. Yummy.
• The way Santa would assemble some of my toys incorrectly.
What with my parents having to sneak out the toys in the wee hours of the morning (and assemble the larger ones), it wasn't uncommon for there to be a few mistakes. So when I'd say, "Dad, my toy cradle won't rock" he'd reply "I guess Santa's elves didn't do a very good job. Let's see if I can fix it." Lazy elves.
