To Everyone that Forwards Stuff to Me:
I appreciate you guys. I do. And I know you do it with the best intentions. It really warms my heart that you think of me when you click that "forward" button and enter in all of your contacts. But seriously, what inspires you to forward me such large-fonted skubala? Dancing gif images, tear-jerking stories, cheesy poetry, claims that forwarding this message will prove I'm truly a friend and want to eradicate breast cancer. Below is an email I was forwarded that is supposed to describe me by my birth month. It was completely off. My comments are in parens.
"Loves children. (BWAHAHAHA. Yes, like a tumor) Loves to chat. (Eh.) Loves those who loves them. (Loves those who loves them? And speaks ebonics!) Loves to takes things at the center. (What does that mean?) Inner and physical beauty. (Why yes, if I do say so myself.) Sexy. (Um. Alright.) Gets angry often. (Okay, yeah, that's me.) Treats friends importantly. (Importantly? I'm not sure what that means either.) Always making new friends. (Got to have people to treat importantly.) Easily hurt but recovers easily. (Mmm... Moody. Yeah, that's me.) Day dreamer. Loyal. Opinionated. (Yeah okay.) Does not care of what others think. (Not so. Grow up in a small town and you'll know why.) Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. (Yes, I can sense that the person who wrote this isn't so bright.) Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Honest, does not pretend. Concerned. Loves outdoors. (BWAHAHAH. Yeah, no. It's better inside.) Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influence ed. (I can always influence Ed.) Easily loses confidence. Loves children. (Did you not get it the first time? I said, "BWAHAHAH." Does that mean nothing to you?)"
So anyway, if you're thinking of forwarding something to me, try to refrain. Otherwise realize that it will be mocked, heavily. Whether I like you (and felt guilty about not forwarding the message because maybe you'll take it personally) or not.
I appreciate you guys. I do. And I know you do it with the best intentions. It really warms my heart that you think of me when you click that "forward" button and enter in all of your contacts. But seriously, what inspires you to forward me such large-fonted skubala? Dancing gif images, tear-jerking stories, cheesy poetry, claims that forwarding this message will prove I'm truly a friend and want to eradicate breast cancer. Below is an email I was forwarded that is supposed to describe me by my birth month. It was completely off. My comments are in parens.
"Loves children. (BWAHAHAHA. Yes, like a tumor) Loves to chat. (Eh.) Loves those who loves them. (Loves those who loves them? And speaks ebonics!) Loves to takes things at the center. (What does that mean?) Inner and physical beauty. (Why yes, if I do say so myself.) Sexy. (Um. Alright.) Gets angry often. (Okay, yeah, that's me.) Treats friends importantly. (Importantly? I'm not sure what that means either.) Always making new friends. (Got to have people to treat importantly.) Easily hurt but recovers easily. (Mmm... Moody. Yeah, that's me.) Day dreamer. Loyal. Opinionated. (Yeah okay.) Does not care of what others think. (Not so. Grow up in a small town and you'll know why.) Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. (Yes, I can sense that the person who wrote this isn't so bright.) Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Honest, does not pretend. Concerned. Loves outdoors. (BWAHAHAH. Yeah, no. It's better inside.) Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influence ed. (I can always influence Ed.) Easily loses confidence. Loves children. (Did you not get it the first time? I said, "BWAHAHAH." Does that mean nothing to you?)"
So anyway, if you're thinking of forwarding something to me, try to refrain. Otherwise realize that it will be mocked, heavily. Whether I like you (and felt guilty about not forwarding the message because maybe you'll take it personally) or not.
