So we spent the day figuring out how to develop a really good headache. First, go to Ikea. Walk through the whole place, no cheating and cutting through to make things quicker. Try to linger and look around a little while 50% of the customers around you have crying babies/toddlers, and the other half blatantly disregards any common manners or respect for personal space. Then go to Big Lots. Yes, there will be a strange smell there. But there's that chance you'll find something worth while for cheap. By the way, the smell will help develop that headache further.

And last, go to the grocery store. If you are lucky as we were, there will be the pungent odor of fertilizer (or perhaps a monster baby's dirty diaper) that will haunt you all the way to the entrance. Then enjoy the fun of the grocery store (but make sure to forget most of the stuff you need) and you're nearly done. All you have to do now is make it back through the smelly parking lot, drive home, and put everything away. Now you should have a nearly fatal headache. Good luck.